Monday, March 10, 2008

Why Do I Let Myself Fail Every Time...

I feel like I let myself fail every time I set out to do something.

It's as if I talk about all the things I could succeed at, but I never even really try as hard as I can. The thing that's makes it worse is that I am so aware of it. It eats away at me every day....I think about it on a regular basis and yet....I still don't do anything to make something happen.

Sorry if you don't like reading this...mom...gary...or whoever actually keeps an eye on this still....

I have happy moments...many happy moments, but...I just feel so unhappy all the time. I think about going to a counselor, but I generally talk about stuff when I am unhappy. I just don't know how to not be so disappointed in myself ALL THE TIME. I hate who I am. I hate that I can't accept myself. I have so many good qualities and gifts...and like I said before...it only makes me more frustrated, because I am SO aware of it.

We all have insecurities...but when do they stop ruling our lives...or when do we stop letting them?

I want to feel good again...not necessarily about all this stuff. I just want to wake up in the morning...and feel good. Nothing more, nothing less.

I don't want to have such negative thoughts and ideas running through my head every time I see my reflection, every time I think of something I failed at.

Why can't I let myself be enough for me. I never by any means want to be content...I always want to strive for something better, but...why are we all so set on being unhappy in this life?